I open my eyes. Damn. Still here. The crying echoes up from below. It's like I'm twelve again, trapped in this small cell as my own space for solitude. But it's not solitude I crave. I want joy and laughter. I want friendship and chaos, passion and love. Of all things love. Sorry Auntie, I don't need a psychic to tell me what I am searching for or what my reason for life is, my path. I'm just like everyone else, seeking the other half of me. To feel complete. I wonder, will I find them in this lifetime? Will I have to wait, wandering through this life with an endless feeling of loneliness? It nearly hurts to think on this. Not that I don't have options, my pick of the litter in a sense. Just that he wouldn't be the right one. I would get bored, looking into other waters. Someone new to entertain my curious mind. I try not to do this. I love generously, fiercely even. But then, something happens. It floats away, or I wake the fuck up. My whole life I have been searching for this perfect existence with bittersweet moments and lots of laughter. And love. Authentic love. The last time it was disappearing, I told myself it was because, this idea of authentic, true love does not exist. It is a mere chemical reaction in the brain. And yet, time has passed. I am back again to the old hopes and dreams that he is still out there. Foolish, I know. Oh well, I tell myself. I guess it's time to get out of bed, go downstairs, and go back to the sitcom that is my current living situation, and keep searching.

-The Drunken Banana-

Watched the lunar eclipse yesterday, absolutely spectacular. It's pretty amazing what nerds have made possible. Despite the fact that I was not anywhere near a viewing point of the eclipse, I was still able to watch the entire thing. Crazy. I learned some interesting facts and theories, thanks to Bob Berman, the host of the live feed. Like the idea that the moon is romantic and "puts people in the mood," he said something along the lines of safety to perform the act under a full moon over the other phases. And the idea that there are more babies and other weirdness during a full moon. Not true, at least according to several studies done on the subject. I definitely notice a change in the air when there's a full moon out, but I suppose it's all in our heads. Still, it's quite a sight. There was also something he said about the moon moving away from us. Guess that goes with the whole idea that the universe is expanding. Kinda creepy and awesome at the same time. If only we could all sit around once in a while and think about the cosmos, how vast and incomprehensible she is, the little bullshit in life is so over-rated compared to that. I believe we purposefully don't talk or think about these things, because it's too overwhelming. Many of us just aren't ready to study the earth and the universe. We'd rather wrap ourselves up in a security blanket full of crap, to distract ourselves from the underlying truths. I am just as guilty of this. It's frightening to realize how unimportant and small we are on the scale of life and other things. Then again, reality is all that we make it, so who's to say what is real eh? Well, enough jibber jabber. Til next time

-The Drunken Banana-

Summer Chapter

Well lovies, it's been quite an eventful year. Spring has sprung and summer starts another chapter of my life. Hopefully an interesting and inspiring one. I've learned a lot over the last several months. Love is an unfortunate accident. Good friends are forever, so don't lose touch, and family can drive you absolutley insane. Currently, I am enjoying some heat and mosquitos in the Sunshine State. A great escape from the dull life of a closed off student from Boise. I hope to start using this blog more; I'll have to consider it my diary for the summer. The goal for today....find a job. Will post later this week, hopefully with a beer in hand. Have a fabulous Tuesday everyone!

-The Drunken Banana-

To the Ones We Hurt

We have dominated and destroyed
With blazing guns and harsh words
Cultures in turmoil
Where peace once resided

They came on their sailboats and airplanes
Refusing to leave and give you what you want
Independence, freedom and justice for all
Or maybe just for some.

You aren’t worthy enough,
You’re not ready,
You are not capable…
These are their excuses.

We’ll put someone in place.
We’ll make a “democracy”
Maybe in ten or fifteen years they’ll be ready,
But not now.

Their young question and ponder truths
They wonder what can be done to undo so much pain and misery
So many years of torment
Of control
Of bullshit.

We wait for the future
To see what she brings us.
Some believe it doesn’t matter
The world will end soon enough
But what if it doesn’t
Shouldn’t we try?

I hope for something better
I trap myself in my thoughts
There must be something to do
There must be a way to change this.

For the whole world, for the western nations who have conquered and ruined so many lives, I apologize and say we will change the world. We will bring hope and happiness to all! We will try our best to heal those wounds.

Happy October!

The best month of the year is finally here! Bring on the pumpkins and goblins and ghosts! Halloween is a time for us to rejoice! Embrace your fellow neighbor, in their goofy garb, give the kiddies candy (and maybe a scare or two) Look out for Dracul and the Big Bad Wolf, for they are sure to lurk...sing songs and eat your booty, but don't forget to check it first!

A little sloppy Halloween poem...I plan on watching many horror movies this month and attending some awesomely scary houses or cornfields! I wish everyone a happy and exciting October!

My first speeding ticket

Received my first speeding ticket today. I feel as though I am a part of the club now, whatever club that might be...It was incredibly stupid. I'm not sure that I really deserved, but such is life. Better to be stopped while completely sober and making a stupid mistake as going about ten over then stopped because you were swerving and our had a couple too many beers. And I have done that a few times. I consider myself lucky.
I attended a baby shower today. It was nice. Seeing family is always a sweet thing. The whole baby shower bonanza, however, is a little ridiculous. But that's okay. I am a little tipsy, as I seem to be lately when I write so freely. So I begin to contemplate my childhood and all of the things my parents did wrong. Granite I love the both very much and would be devastated at there demise, but, there's always a but...they fucked up royally. For some reason the John Mayer line "father's be good to your daughter's" keeps popping in my head. I suppose I am just thinking about how easily parents don't try with their children today. People take kids for granted so much. They're a fucking gift for fucks sake! Don't lose sight of that! The little bastards didn't ask to be here so don't make them regret it! And by little bastards, I include myself. I am very grateful for the relationship I have with my parents. I only hope that I can help others with their own relationships with their children. Wasting years of something so precious isn't worth it. So...hug your child everyday and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. Listen, don't always talk. Stare at them sometimes, whether it weirds them out or not, and observe your own walking miracle. And don't ever let that love go in you parent child relationship. That is probably the most important relationship in a person's life. And read this people and learn something....

Another American Douche

(3) According to Wikipedia- the acute effects of the bombings in Hiroshoma killed 90,000-166,000. In Nagasaki it was 60,000-80,000.

(1) In the Pearl Harbor attack, casualties included 2,335 servicemen and 68 civilians.

(2) According to an article by Stephen M Walt for Foreign Policy magazine, the number of deaths of Afghan civilians from 2001-2009 is about 12,000-32,000. In Iraq, about 16,000 with the initial invasion and at least 100,000 more during occupation. The numbers are probably even higher.

(3) The September 11th "attacks" -2,976 victims and 19 hijackers.

It's funny to me now how, in an effort to expunge Islam, but not the Muslim community, a douchebag preacher is going to hold a massive book burning ceremony. First of all, let me say that this man has very poor grammar. Second of all, it tickles me pink when he says that Islam is the the devil and asks "why do we defend oppression." Hmmmm. There's that good ol' boy end oppression with oppression statement again. It's so like old white American men to say something so incredibly contradictory. I'm not saying that I agree with the Islamic religion entirely, but I don't believe that the Christian bible is any better either. Both are chauvinistic texts created by men throughout the ages. Neither hold any real truth. One is a book of fables, the other is a book designed to govern and control, well I guess that part is in both. Hey I have a great idea, I'll hold my own burning of sacred texts day! Everyone come on out and burn it all! Religious people have stooped, yet again, to an all time low. I just hope that when these ignorant back-woods, white supremicist, chauvinist a-holes die off, the younger generations of the world will come together in a glorious atheist movement. We'll call it something catchy like, "The Human Existence." People throughout will stop playing pretend with their imaginary deities and learn to exist amongst eachother, and simply be happy and live for today!

So if you read this watch the video I will be attaching, if you haven't seen it already. It's a good one folks...I can't wait for the writers of Southpark to make an episode about it (which hopefully they will).

I suppose that's all for now, thanks for listening :)

Here is the link to the video....

http://cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2010/07/29/ricks.burn.koran.cnn





(1) Anderson, Erik. "Pearl Harbor Facts." Pearl Harbor: The Bombing. Web. 21 Aug 2010. http://www.erikanderson.net/pearlharbor/index.html.

(2) Walt, Stephen M. "Why they hate us (II): How many Muslims has the U.S. killed in the pst 30 years." Foreign Policy. 30 Nov 2009: Web 21 Aug 2010. http://www.foreignpolicy.com

(3) "Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki." <http://en.wikipedia.org>.

"September 11 Attacks." http://en.wikipedia.org.